Most of our views come from people clicking on links on Facebook. We appreciate you being here however you found us, but you should know that we will only reply to comments on Substack. This is because most social media platforms want one thing from their users, and it isn’t thoughtful conversation.
Social media makes its money from ads, which means the platforms are selling their user’s attention. The longer a person is on a platform, the more ads they will see, the more money will be made.
Social media knows the best way to keep people on the platform and “engaged” is to make them outraged. The systems are designed to keep people in that emotional state. If a user isn’t angry or resentful when they log in, the platform is going to try to make them that way.
The second way social media platforms keep users clicking is called intermittent rewards2 or intermittent reinforcement.3 It is the same force behind gambling addictions and abusive relationships.
When you open a social media platform (or your email, or pull a slot machine handle), you don’t know what you’re going to see. It might be something neutral, like a photo of a friend of a friend; it might be something terrible, like a wildfire; or it might be something amazing, like a baby panda.
If it’s the panda, your brain gives you a hit of dopamine, and you feel happy. However, you only get the dopamine if the baby panda is a surprise. People come back to the source of surprise baby pandas, and stay for the outrage.
Consequently, conversation that happens on social media has a kind of edge to it. People are primed to be upset, and to respond quickly. This ends in us losing all the things Healwell treasures in discussions: thoughtfulness, patience, curiosity, vulnerability, and kindness.
We DO want to hear from you. We hope you’ll join us on More Than Hands and in our private online community. It’s kinder here.