Why the Best Massage Therapist Might Be the One Who Says "I Don't Know"
Confidence can mask incompetence
In the world of massage therapy, there's a dangerous gap that both clients and therapists often overlook: the difference between confidence and competence.
Confidence is when a massage therapist exudes certainty and proffers opinions smoothly couched as knowledge. This kind of therapist can seem more trustworthy than a curious practitioner who is humble and appears to be finding their way in real time—but this perception misses the mark.
The Confidence Trap
Confident massage therapists often present with unwavering certainty about their techniques. Bolstered by the claims of weekend workshop instructors peddling trademarked approaches and by the uninformed accolades of their clients, they make bold claims about what they can "fix" or "cure." Clients (and humans of all kinds, really) easily invest in the idea that this “healer” knows more about them and their body than they do.
I mean, let’s be honest-- we all want someone or something to tell us what’s going to happen; how to do it right. That’s why people have their palms read and peek at the horoscope in the morning.
When we hand over our trust so willingly, we don’t recognize when overconfident massage therapists dismiss our concerns, override our feedback about pressure or discomfort, or insist they know our bodies better than we do. Expertise can be seductive, especially when you're seeking relief from chronic pain or stress.
Competence is built on humility, continuous learning, and respect for complexity. A competent therapist knows when to refer a client to another healthcare provider, understands the limits (and the true breadth) of their scope of practice, and regularly checks in with their clients throughout each session and throughout their relationship.
🚩4 Red Flags to Watch For
"Miracle Worker" Claims: Therapists who promise to cure serious medical conditions, “save you from years of therapy” or claim their technique is superior to all others should give any client pause. Competent, well-trained, experienced therapists understand that massage is one tool among many. Competent therapists are responsible when messaging the impact of their work because they understand that offering false hope to a person who is really struggling is unethical.
Dismissing Your Pain or Discomfort: Confident massage therapists talk about how pain during a massage is "normal" or "necessary.” They suggest that they “really need to get in there,” to effectively address the issue that has brought clients to their treatment rooms. Skilled therapists know that effective treatment doesn't require causing harm.
Rigid Adherence to One Method: Overconfident therapists believe their preferred technique works for everyone. They downplay other techniques and the work of other therapists. This means they inadvertently miss the opportunity to truly see and serve their clients and their needs if those needs don’t fit into the paradigm of their chosen approach. Competent therapists adapt their approach based on each client’s individual needs, medical history, and responses.
Pressure to Continue Despite Red Flags: Incompetent therapists often push boundaries that competent ones respect. Those boundaries might include physical discomfort, financial pressure for expensive packages, or dismissal of medical or health conditions.
The Real Risks
The consequences of mistaking confidence for competence can be serious. Improper massage techniques can cause muscle dysfunction, nerve damage, or exacerbate existing injuries. An incompetent therapist might miss signs of serious underlying conditions that require medical attention, potentially delaying crucial treatment.
Additionally, therapists who lack proper boundaries—often masked by overconfidence—may create uncomfortable or inappropriate situations that violate professional standards, whether those be physical, emotional, or social. We’re all walking around with wounds and traumas from our lifelong travels in these bodies and with these minds. Confidence and trauma-informed care don’t coexist very well, and the chances of harming a client both physically and emotionally through the mistakes of overconfidence are pretty high.
True Competence
Competence shows up when a therapist asks detailed questions about a client’s health history. It is demonstrated when a therapist explains their techniques, either with facts or with acknowledgement that they are theorizing. Competence is respecting the boundaries of clients. When a therapist is willing to work collaboratively with other healthcare providers it is because they want what’s best for the people they serve.
When a massage therapist is willing to tell a client that they’ve “never heard of” a situation or a condition and they follow that up with a genuine desire to learn more, that is competence. Competence is a willingness and ability to refer to another provider or to another massage therapist if it becomes clear that the work they’re doing with a client isn’t “working.”
A truly competent massage therapist is less flashy than their overconfident counterparts, but they provide safer, more effective treatment tailored to the needs of the people they touch.
In healthcare, the most dangerous practitioners are often those who are absolutely certain they're right. Our profession deserves the careful attention and ethical commitment of practitioners who know the limits of their knowledge and respect the complexity of the human body and experience.